Looking Back at 2009

2009 was an interesting year, to say the least, and I can honestly say that I have learned a lot. I met new friends, re-connected with old friends and said good-bye to friends. I went on some wonderful road trips all while maintaining a new budget. My son and I have become closer than ever and that will go down as the best thing that happened to me last year.

In 2009 I began using Twitter. This may seem lame to a lot of people, but I have connected with more people through this social site than I ever would have imagined. Even though I am not on there as much as I used to be, I hope this will change during 2010 and that I can connect with even more people. There are a few people that stand out that I have met there, but to not leave anyone out, I will not even begin to list them, but will list a few websites that are my favorite and let you enjoy them if you choose. I have enjoyed chatting about horror movies, music, photography and the trashiest, but best, crime site I have come across yet. (www.dreamindemon.com) I have discovered some great blogs (www.thevaultofhorror.net) and pod casts (www.fearshop.com and www.horrorphilia.net) that are now a apart of my everyday life. A lot of people despise social sites such as Twitter, Facebook and MySpace, but for me, those are the people that are in my life and for that I am grateful. I enjoy talking to people, period!

2009 was also a year that I decided to let go of a few friends. I know that may sound bad, but it was something I needed to do to be able to move on with my life. So many times in the past I have lived my life for other people and now I realize that I need to live my life for ME. I know this may sound selfish, but if you are not happy with YOU, you make everyone around you miserable. Drama causes stress and stress makes me a very unbearable person. 2009 was the first year, in several years, that I had to take on life unmedicated. This was a challenge and if I do say so myself, I passed with flying colors! I am a very unique person and will change for no one. I accept myself for who I am and am very thankful for the people in my life that do also. I can be bitchy, pushy, impatient and intimidating, but those are qualities that make me the person I am. I have recently rediscovered my “soft” side. The ushy, gushy side that I forgot I had. I kinda like it! There IS a heart buried underneath all the cobwebs that have built up over the last 5 years, since I have been divorced.

2009 was the year that I went on some very interesting road trips. I attended two very exciting horror conventions, one in the spring and one in the late summer. I met and have maintained friendship with people from both trips. I also went on a lot of solo trips to the mountains. This was very therapeutic for me. I love to take pictures and that is more calming to me than any anti-depression medication can cure. I am a very independent person and enjoy time just being alone. At one time, I was so disgusted with myself. I had to learn real quick that if I couldn’t trust MYSELF, I couldn’t be trusted period. Trust has always been an issue for me in any relationship, friend or otherwise. Learning how to trust myself is the first step in trusting other people. Let’s just say that I am still working on the later part of the previous statement. But I have come a long way. Trust is something you definitely earn.

Last year was the first year in a while that I was financial strapped. I quit a very good paying job that last part of 2008. I chose health over wealth. (My last job was very stressful.) Even though I struggled for the most part of last year, my health did improve. I take nothing I have now for granted. My son and I had a very leisure lifestyle until I quit my job. It kills me to say to him that “I can’t afford that”, but I know he understands I did what I did because I had to. And believe it or not, I think this is one of the main things that has brought us closer together. We talk about anything and everything and I wouldn’t trade my hardships and lessons learned over last year for anything. I has definitely made me a stronger person and a more attentive mother. Don’t get me wrong, I am still struggling, and as I stated earlier, I now take nothing for granted.

I anticipate 2010 to be a better year. Learning all the things I did in 2009 will be put to good use in this year to come. I am, by no means, perfect. I have never claimed to be and I never will be. I take things one day at a time now, because you never know what tomorrow may bring. “Live for today, because tomorrow is never promised.” I wish each and everyone of you a great year. Remember to live life for YOU and change for no one! I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. I make New Year’s mottos!

Never the Same Again

I thought I would do a fun blog this time. I’m tired of bitching about my financial situation! (Caution, there is bad language ahead!)

Have you ever watched a movie and the song attached to a scene changes how you listen to that song forever? I am going to list some of the songs that I can never listen to the same again. If you have any to contribute, leave a comment or if you have a Twitter account leave me a reply @1twistedmind.

Free Bird - The Devil’s Rejects

I have always been a fan of this song long before I watched the movie. Being born and raised in the south, I would be damned to hell for not loving this song! To those who have not seen this movie, first of all, shame on you, and second, I may ruin the ending for you.

The song starts with a nice aerial view of the road ahead. Highway to Hell may have been more appropriate for this ride! The “Rejects” are in a blue convertible Caddy cruising along after escaping a night of unholy hell, or so they thought. Baby and her daddy, Captain Spaulding, are in the back seat, while Otis drives. Visions of the good ole days are popping in and out along the journey. Otis stops the car after he spots the roadblock ahead. He lays his head back for moment before alerting the others who are passed out in the back seat. They wake up and realize what is going on and starting grabbing their weapons. Baby draws her gun first and mouths “You motherfucker”, Otis steps on the gas and the music speeds up.

Spaulding is hanging out one side of the car, Otis the other (driver side of course) and Baby is in the middle standing up like a pageant queen waving to the crowd. Shots are fired back and forth. I love the slow motion effect Rob Zombie produces in this scene. Bullet holes just appear like a drop of blood on Baby's arm. Spaulding has that shit faced grin on his blood caked mouth the whole time! We are left with the assumption they are all dead. I have to admit that I cried in the theatre during this scene. No matter how evil they are/were, they will always remain my favorite dysfunctional family!

The rest will be short and sweet!

This Year’s Love - David Gray - The Girl Next Door

What a perfect song for this scene. You lose your virginity to a smoking hot ex-porn star in a limousine on the way home from prom. Every time I hear this song, I see them having sex, which is not a bad thing!

Baby Got Back - Charlies Angels

Cameron Diaz wishes she had "back" but shakes it around nontheless! I still giggle when I hear that song!

Canned Heat - Jamiroquai - Napoleon Dynamite

I am a fan of Jamiroquai so I have some of his stuff on my iPod. When that song comes on, I want to stop what I am doing and do that stupid ass dance!

Love is a Battlefield - 13 Going on 30

Jennifer Garner jumping around on a bed with young girls... yeah...

Thriller - 13 Going on 30

Super Freak - Little Miss Sunshine

You gotta love that little girl!

Unchained Melody - Ghost

Dueling Banjos - Deliverance

Bound and Determined!

Last week, Devin and I went to his band banquet. He was in marching band the first part of the school year and played various instruments in percussion. I have to admit that when I was in school, I poked fun at the kids that were in marching band. Until this past year, I had no idea what kind of experience being a part of the marching band was like. Yes, it was aggravating taking him and picking him up from practice. Not to mention football games almost every Friday. The first time I saw them perform their complete show, it brought tears to my eyes. Those kids are truly dedicated and determined.

That night Devin told me he wanted to do marching band again this year. The first thing that popped into my head was, "How am I going to pay for it!" I realized how truly selfish I was by thinking that, but that thought quickly disappeared when I saw the excitement on his face. I am bound and determined to make this happen for him!

He has promised to help out with as many fundraisers as possible. Volunteered hours equals money in his band account! The band fees for this year are $300. I have applied for financial assistance which could mean that I may only have to pay as little as 25% of that. (keeping my fingers crossed!) Band fees do not include money for buses taken to competitions and other various trips.

Like I said before, I will make this happen!